We are living in a time where other people’s life’s are so accessible for us to see and with that it has become so easy for us to compare ourselves and our lives to others.
They say a picture speaks a thousand words, yet we are so quick to jump the gun and just take the picture for face value. Making our own assumptions of what we see – only focusing on the surface and never deeper than that.
It’s as though we have become robotic thinkers and robotic observers. For example, we may see a beautiful girl on social media, head to toe in amazing clothes, with gorgeous skin, lovely long hair – and to us on the surface they are no faults to see and so we automatically think “I wish I could be her, I’d be so happy to look like her” – but little do we know, that girl has spent hours also comparing herself also to girls on social media, she is insecure and has a lot of shit going on inside. I can’t help but wonder, if we knew that she felt like that way – would we still want to be her? I guess it seems less appealing then doesn’t it?
This era has become so fixated and focused on image, materialism and success – that we think if we look great, have nice belongings and loads of money and an amazing career, then we will be happy. But if that rings true then why are there so many famous and rich people depressed?
Quite frankly because happiness does not sit surface level. Happiness comes from deep within. It’s that old saying ‘Nothing can make you happy unless you are happy within yourself’ – a saying many people hate because it comes back down the self, and we often don’t like it when it’s up to us – we often want things done for us.
I’ve been that person who says “I will be happy WHEN….” but the ‘whens‘ are just a cover up. They are quick fixes and they solve NOTHING. I’ve touched based on this before how I used to be obsessed with hair extensions. To me, feeling pretty meant long hair and without it I felt miserable and ugly – the truth is half the time I still felt shit even with long hair. And soon I was searching for another fix to make me feel better, make me feel pretty. I quickly found nothing was going to work. The only way I could start feeling good about myself was to actually look at myself for who I actually am and show myself some love and be good with me. I had to dig deep and fix what was going on inside, because the outside was just a mask. It wasn’t easy, it was uncomfortable but feeling uncomfortable often leads to wonderful things.
In comparing myself personally to others, I decided to give myself a reality check. I scrolled through my own Instagram feed to see what others would see. Yeah nice pictures, motivating captions – from the outside looking in, it looks like my life’s great and I’ve got my shit well and truly together. The truth? My shit is so far from together. I have zero idea what I’m doing with my life. I often feel stuck and down and I cry ALOT. Which yeah, I touch base sometimes on this with my captions but the majority of my captions are positive and upbeat. So to someone else looking from the outside I come across as this really happy, positive girl, when in reality I often feel down and fed up. The truth is; I share my captions because they are my thoughts in the moment, not only a message to others but to myself, to remind myself to carry on and keep on going.
We can all so easily think and believe the grass is greener else where, but the real truth is; grass is green where you water it. So look at what you have and focus on that and live for that, and stop being focused on wanting more and wanting better and instead be grateful for what you have and who you have.
Because other wise when does the comparing stop? When does the wanting more stop? Does it ever? Or is it just a continuous vicious cycle where no one ever ends up happy because they don’t appreciate what they do have in the NOW.
And I’m not saying we can’t’ or shouldn’t want more for ourselves or for our lives, that we shouldn’t strive for greater success or happiness. Because we can and we should. But we should also be happy with what we have whilst working towards what we want.
Life in this day and age is tough, but we can either make it easier for ourselves or harder. We can work together and remind each other we are all human beings who experience the same feelings, emotions, struggles and pressures. We are all so caught up in the online world of everything looking picture perfect, that we neglect real life, real people, real emotions – real scenarios.
None of us are exempt from life’s struggles and battles. There are no chosen ones. We are in all in it together, so why do we compare and compete against one another?
I’m not blaming anyone for the way they may act or the way they feel, we’re all human. But we have to take self responsibility- we have to make a change. We all deserve a life of true pure happiness and that’s not just for the internet but in real life.
Spend less time on your phone, spend more time actually living. Find what is that makes you happy, makes you laugh, makes you feel good. Never be afraid to speak about your lows – in order to solve the problem, we must address the problem. And like all problems there is always a solution. Truth is we all compare ourselves to one another yet fail to realise we can all infact relate to each other – more than we know. Let’s start not only building each other up but start building ourselves up.
Because comparison really is the thief of joy. And joy is something every single one of us deserve.
So please, find your joy x