I used to be the girl that would compare herself and her life to everybody else’s. I used to find myself thinking I should be more like that, or more like this.
To this day it absolutely baffles my nugget that I used to be and think that way, because honestly when it comes to fitting in – I have zero desire for it. Not to mention, I also fucking suck at it. Which is great because being just ME is actually something I am really good at.
There has been a few times that I realised that fitting in wasn’t for me nor did it work for me.
For instance, throughout me blogging/writing, I remember coming across the path of other Bloggers, who were absolutely smashing it and I quickly found myself trying to alter my style of blogging because – I thought I had to follow the blogger ‘clique’ (term used lightly) in order to be noticed, to be accepted and to basically be any good.
But in doing so I quickly realised that I was no longer enjoying what I once loved – because I wasn’t being me.
I wasn’t writing about what I enjoyed to write about and because of that my personality wasn’t showing and my witty attitude wasn’t being portrayed. I quickly found I was getting fed up that I was not getting the response I wanted to my writing. But realistically I wouldn’t of wanted a good response to something I wasn’t truly passionate about – I wanted a response from writing about the things I love to write about and through my own style. You know – like vaginas? (If you know, you know, and if you don’t know, get to know...)
I wasn’t being true to myself and when you are not true to yourself, you become miserable and fed up. And fast.
Another time I realised fitting in wasn’t my cup of tea (oh so British) was when I got offered a job – in a jewellery shop, to which I accepted until I read the uniform (aka the way you look) policy which was just basically a checklist from fucking hell.
Like don’t get me wrong, I understand that certain job roles/companies require a certain look of presentation but this was to the extreme that – I had to double check I wasn’t accepting a job at an army camp!
They dictated down to the colour of your hair – and if your nails chipped you would be sent home, along with another 10 bullet points of their requests (that my blood pressure just cannot with hold going over right now ) I mean, I would be a total nervous reck entering work panicking about my appearance, worried to touch anything incase my cheap nail polish chipped a lil bit.
The whole idea of being judged at 8am on a Monday morning of how I looked and having my appearance checked of their suitable requirements list made me wanna vom. (For the record, I would never not buy a piece of jewellery from someone with bright pink hair, or shaven hair. I’d rather just be served by a real human being. Yah no?)
And so I swiftly declined the job. Because I would honestly rather have no money and struggle, then to fit in into someone elses idea of normal and perfection.
So having realised I am just completely unable nor meant to fit in. I don’t even try or want to anymore. I just do me. Be me. For me.
Because the thing is, there is something really empowering about just being yourself and embracing the things that make you, you.
When I think of some of the people I look up to most, they all have this wonderful and unqiue characteristic about them. And that’s what draws me in. That’s what leaves a lasting impression.
The people that grab my attention and whom I most admire and respect are the ones who are unapologetically themselves. The ones who embrace who they are with zero fucks of what others think. The ones who would rather stand out, then ever dare fit in. The ones who have the confidence to fully be themselves and do the things they want to do regardless of anyone else’s thoughts or judgements on it.
I don’t ever want to hide who I am. I want to be known for exactly who I am – every single inch of me. Whether people get it or not. Whether people like me or not. I am not here for other’s to understand me, I am here to understand myself. Self acceptance is far more important to me then the acceptance of others. I am under no obligation to make sense to anyone.
I would always rather be hated for who I am, then loved for who I am not.
So this post is a reminder to anyone reading this – to the ones who may not always fully be themselves, the one’s who may be questioning doing certain things because they are worried of judgement or opinions. This is my reminder to you…
BE YOU, FULLY YOU. Embrace who you are, own who you are and show the world who you are. Don’t ever hide parts of your personality, don’t dim your light, don’t play yourself down, don’t stop doing the things you love. Don’t not be the person you really want to be because it’s not the status quo or because others may judge you, not be accepting of you or have opinions on you. Opinions will always exist, regardless of who you are or what you do. So you might as well be who you reallllly want to be and do what you realllly want to do!
Never put the key to your happiness or life in another persons hands. You will be noticed, accepted and appreciated for simply being YOU.
Don’t ever ever aspire to fit in, aspire to stand out.
Keep doing you. xo